If I Was Your Girl by Meredith RussoMy rating: 0 of 5 stars
I'm struggling to come up with a rating for this book. Given the hype, I think I expected more emotional depth from the relationships in the book. But they all felt very surface level to me. Amanda as an individual was great, but her friendships and romantic relationship felt too shallow. Amanda and Grant's relationship felt like a plot point more than a genuine exchange of feelings. It developed so quickly and I just didn't find myself caring about their relationship at all. And honestly, I'm really angry about the climax of this book. It felt so unnecessary to (view spoiler)
So I feel like this was a story that needs to be told - a trans girl starting over at a new school and wondering if not telling people she's trans is in some way lying or if she's simply living her truth and the details don't matter. But I'm not sure how I feel about the way this particular story was told.
I will say I loved the author's note at the end, explaining why she choose to portray Amanda's transness the way she did and that Amanda's experience is by no means universal. I definitely understand why Russo choose to use the easiest to swallow narrative as a foray into telling trans stories and I respect her reasoning and her decision.
I guess I think I'm at the point in exploring my own gender where I don't want to read stories where the character has always been sure; I want to see more stories where the character is confused as hell and trying to figure out the difference between identity and expression and how important that difference is to them and how their sexuality does or doesn't affect the way they think about their gender. So my mixed feelings might be more about the mental place I'm in rather than the book itself.
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