Tell Me How You Really Feel, Aminah Mae Safi

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was the queer, brown Gilmore Girls remake of my dreams and I am LIVING FOR IT. This was the best kind of enemies-to-lovers story fueled by misunderstandings and insecurities rather than actual douchebaggery. Both Sana and Rachel were gorgeously fleshed out characters coming to terms with family expectations, dreams versus reality, financial pressure, and struggling to present the most honest version of yourself.

I was once again blessed to read the second story in the last month about a Jewish character whose Judaism is actually an integral part of her identity and her story. The Passover seder literally had me wanting to shout from the rooftops because this is how you include cultural tradition and identity into story!! I really had to put the book down and just soak in that scene because it felt so god damn good.

Honestly, I'm just kinda sitting here grinning stupidly to myself over how much I just adore this book. This was definitely one the highlights of my year and I will absolutely be coming back to this book again and again.

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Red, White & Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The hype is goddamn real y'all. This book was exactly the kind of hopeful catharsis we needed in the face of the last three years of unrelenting bullshit. In some ways this book hurt like a motherfucker because we don't live in a world where it actually feels possible right now for the bisexual son of the first female president to be a deciding reason for her reelection. Where sexual predators who are willing to hire hackers to undermine their political opponents don't become President of the United States. Where the whole world is willing to come together to support two queer young men in the public eye who want to help people as much as possible without stuffing their essential selves in a box. I enjoyed the romance, as well, but truly what made this book for me was all the ways it showed what we could have been in a marginally better alternate universe.

Don't get me wrong, the world is still pretty fucked up in this book. There are still assholes willing to see Alex's bisexuality as proof that his mother isn't a capable president. There are young people of color who have faced trauma in their past and have had to learn how to live with their powerlessness in the face of those who wronged them and the multitude of ways it's fucked them up. There's a British monarch who isn't willing to accept that the world has changed since she took the crown in 1947 and that her bigoted, antiquated views are actively hurting her country and the world. There's invasive journalism that doesn't respect the privacy of pretty much anybody. But still it's a world that elected a divorced woman in 2016 and reelected her despite her son's gay sex scandal in 2020. It's a world that hasn't had to face an increase in white supremacy and violence against people of color, Jews, Muslims, and queer people. It's a world that didn't let a private email server scandal determine the results of the election. And it's a world where two high profile queer boys are able to actually imagine their happily ever after.

So, yeah, I love this book. I love these boys. I love this relationship. I love all of their friendships and their relationships with their siblings and parents. I fucking love the flirting through fucking historical quotes because they're goddamn adorable nerds. I just. Really love this book. Get on the hype train y'all, it is so worth it.

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With the Fire On High, Elizabeth Acevedo

From the New York Times bestselling author of the National Book Award longlist title The Poet X comes a dazzling novel in prose about a girl with talent, pride, and a drive to feed the soul that keeps her fire burning bright.

Ever since she got pregnant freshman year, Emoni Santiago’s life has been about making the tough decisions—doing what has to be done for her daughter and her abuela. The one place she can let all that go is in the kitchen, where she adds a little something magical to everything she cooks, turning her food into straight-up goodness.

Even though she dreams of working as a chef after she graduates, Emoni knows that it’s not worth her time to pursue the impossible. Yet despite the rules she thinks she has to play by, once Emoni starts cooking, her only choice is to let her talent break free.

I'm not sure I even have words for how much I loved this book. Emoni is such an amazing character. I was completely caught up in her story, rooting for her to find a way to both support her daughter and follow her dreams to be a chef. All of her relationships - with her daughter, her grandmother, her father, her best friend, her culinary arts teacher, her ex, her love interest - were so well crafted and sincere. Despite the fact that all of her relationships were amazingly written, I loved that the focus of the book remained solely on Emoni and her plans for herself and her daughter. 

I especially appreciated that the romance didn't take over the story to the detriment of everything else going on in Emoni's life. He may have been an important part of her realizing that she's capable of planning for her own future as well as her daughter's, but so was her family and her best friend; Acevedo never tried to make the romantic relationship supersede any of the other relationships and it felt so right. Romantic relationships so often take over everything else and it's always amazing to see them coexist at the same level as other types of relationships.

Also the food in this book!! I am so hungry right now and just want to eat all of it. You can bet I'm gonna try out those recipes included at the beginning of each part because they all sound so good. The way people talked about Emoni's food felt so fabulist and I just adored it. It fit so well with her Puerto Rican heritage and the way she tried to build on her roots to create something new and unexpected. Everything about Emoni's cooking was just magical and amazing.